I cross all the seas, it's fine by me...

Cred ca nu puteam sa fi plecat din Anglia pe o alta vreme decat ploaie...Nu ar fi fost acelasi lucru...Speram ca si ultima zi sa fi fost ca si cele precedente - innorate, dar uscate - insa a inceput sa ploua (nu tare, ci englezesc, adica suficient cat sa te ude mai mult decat ai putea accepta) de pe la 16:00, asa ca degeaba m-am spalat eu pe cap in dimineata respectiva, caci a trebuit sa fug pana la posta si inapoi printre picaturi (umbrela era deja in bagajul care nu suporta in nici un caz sa fie deschis atunci). Iar taxiul a venit instant (nu in 10 minute, asa cum mi s-a zis), nici nu apucasem sa scot trolerele afara, iar soferul a fost cea mai nepoliticoasa persoana pe care am intalnit-o in Anglia: ma vedea ca ma chinui cu bagajele, dar a spus ca m-ar fi ajutat daca nu ar fi plouat asa tare. Doar replica mea ("nu e asa rau afara") l-a facut sa-si miste fundul din masina....La statia de autocar am asteptat iar in ploaie (nu avea rost sa ma chinui sa intru si apoi sa ies cu toate bagajele), protejata doar de o streasina si un aparat de aer conditionat.

Credeam ca toata situatia asta deloc comfortabila o sa imi intareasca dorinta de a pleca din Anglia, dar inevitabilul s-a produs: mi-a parut putin rau ca parasesc Albionul. Oricum, multa vreme in aeroport (cand nu citeam si aveam timp sa ma gandesc la diverse lucruri) and avut senzatia ca merga acasa doar pt o perioada determinata si ca ma voi intoarce in Anglia curand (sentimentul asta a continuat cateva zile chiar si aici).

Nimic special de povestit din aeroport sau avion - doar ca aveam cele mai mari bagaje (deh, eu nu eram turista), iar la aterizare lunch-boxul meu a 'fugit' de sub scaun (locul 25) si a alunecat pana in fata, la cabina pilotului, spre amuzamentul tuturor care au vazut asta.


Apoi zilele din Bucuresti au fost normale: acasa, caldura (suportabila), intalniri cu prietenii, iesiri dese prin oras, si, cel mai important, am terminat dizertatia! Asa ca acum simt ca viata mea este lipsita de sens, adica pana acum stiam ca asta trebuie sa fac, sa citesc si sa scriu pt dizertatie, iar acum ca am finalizat-o a inceput o stare de plictiseala (desi as putea gasi lucruri de facut: sa imi fac curat in camera, sa ma apuc - din nou- de germana etc). Partea cea mai proasta e ca acum, cand am tot timpul din lume, toamna pare sa se fi instalat definitiv: m-am trezit intr-o duminica si am crezut ca sunt inapoi in Anglia (deci slabe sanse sa mai merg la mare)!
Am totusi un sentiment eliberator, dar ma simt destul de ciudat, caci desi unii se intorc la scoala/facultate acum, pt mine capitolul asta s-a inchis definitiv (ma rog, relativ, candva ma gandesc sa fac un doctorat, dar sigur nu in urmatorii 5 ani)....



Acum doua zile am raspuns la un sondaj telefonic, iar la final am fost intrebata de detalii de tip statistic: varsta, ocupatie etc. Am spus sa ultimul nivel de educatie este masterul (desi oficial nu l-am absolvit trebuia sa ma simt si eu cumva importanta), dar nu am stiut ce sa raspund la ocupatie. Am spus ca am terminat masterul, sunt momentan in vacanta si urmeaza sa incep un internship in curand. Iar intervievatorul mi-a spus ca cel mai potrivit ar fi sa bifeze ca sunt "somer in cautare de loc de munca". A sunat cam dur, dar oare asta e realitatea? Daca da, atunci nu imi place, vreau alta va rog!


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And Now?

I don't think I could have left England on a different weather than rain ... It wouldn't have been the same thing ... I hoped that my last day was as the previous ones - cloudy, though dry - but it started to rain (not buckling, but typically English, which is enough to soak you more than you could accept) around 16:00, so it didn't make any difference that I've washed my hair that morning because I had to run to the post office and back (the umbrella was already in luggage that could not have been opened again under any circumstances ). And the taxi came instantly (not in 10 minutes, as I was told), so I didn't even had the time to move the trolleys outside and the driver was the most impolite person I've met in England: he saw that I was struggling with the luggage but he said that he would have helped if it had not rained that much. Just my reply ("it's not so bad outside") made him move his ass off the car....At the bus station I've waited in the rain again (there was no point to bother myself getting in and then out with the luggage), protected only by an eave and an air conditioner.

I thought this whole situation (not at all comfortable) would strengthen my desire to leave England, but the inevitable happened: I felt a little sorry for leaving the Albion. Anyway, for a long time in the airport (in the moments I wasn't reading so I had the occasion to think about random things) I had the feeling that I was going home only for a short period of time and that I will soon return to England (that feeling continued even here a few days) .

Nothing special happened the airport or in airplane - just that I had the biggest luggage (well, I was not a tourists), and when landing my lunch-boxing 'fled' from under the seat (the 25th place) and slid up all the way to the pilot's cabin, for the amusement of all who saw it.


Then the days in Bucharest were normal: home, heat (bearable), meetings with friends, frequent trips around town, and most importantly, I finished my dissertation! So now I feel like my life is meaningless, that is because before that I knew what I had to do, reading and writing for dissertation, and now that I finished a state of boredom has started (although I could find things do: to tidy my room, get on with some German language etc.). Worst part is that now I have all the time in the world, but autumn seems to have permanently installed: I woke up one Sunday and I thought I was back in England (so there aren't big chances for me to go to the seaside)!
I still have a liberating feeling, but it's quite strange, because although some are returning to school /Uni now, for me this chapter has finally closed (well, relatively, I am thinking about doing a PhD sometimes, but certainly not during the next 5 years)....



Two days ago I answered a phone survey and at the end I was asked for details of statistical type: age, occupation, etc.. I said my last level of education is the Masters (although I have not officially graduated, but I had to show off somehow, right?), but I didn't know what to mention as my occupation. I said I finished the masters, I'm currently on vacation and I'm about to begin an internship soon. And interviewer told me that the best option would be to tick that I'm "unemployed seeking a job". It sounded a little harsh, but is this truly the reality? If so, I don't like it, get me another one please!